Counting my blessings, and why you should too

Hi guys. I feel like I say this a lot but honestly i’m not sure what else to describe this year as, other than it being really weird and not feeling quite right. I have found this year super challenging so far and so much has changed, however there is one thing I’m working on changing for the better. That is focusing on my blessings.

I know I know, it sounds super cheesy – but its true. This year has been a roller-coaster so far.. I’ve lost people, and been through heaps of change that is still ongoing. However, counting by blessings in the form of a gratitude journal has been useful for me lately, and is really helping me have a more positive mindset. I will not show the actual pages of my gratitude journal as some points are very personal, but some lighter examples of things I have written include;

• I am grateful for my bed. It is cosy and warm, it is my safe space.
• I am grateful for my health, because I realise i’m getting fitter and stronger everyday.
• I am grateful for my morning cup of tea, because it’s a good way to start the day and be really comforting.
• I am grateful for hearing the birds sing in the morning, as i’m usually to busy to pay attention to them, or even notice them.

This is the general layout of my gratitude journal. I simply write the date and four things i’m grateful for and why, every 3 days.

Although i’m aware that this may not be everybody’s cup of tea – It has been really beneficial to me. This is because it helps me stay focused on what I actually have, rather than the things I don’t have. For example, I don’t have a car so that subsequently has made life a tad more challenging, as the virus has impacted public transport. Next, I am single, so this is teaching me to pay more attention to all the other amazing things around me, and that I don’t necessarily need a partner to feel happy.

However, another good reason to write a gratitude journal is it can help you to either start or end your days in a positive way. For example, if you’re gone to bed and have had a bit of a tough day, you can take the time to pick out a few of the good things that happened. This could then help you not only feel happier, but also sleep better as a result.

Honestly, I wish i’d have started doing this sooner. I’ve felt really quite sad through the first half of lockdown, and feel like this would have really helped me. Never the less, its still a wonderful help now and maybe this post would’ve helped you want to try it too!

That’s all guys, have you ever tried gratitude journalling? Or are you going to try now? let me know in the comments below.

Take care,

~ Emma x

The Ideal Inspiration Blogger Award

Hi guys! I’m so proud to say that i’ve been nominated for another award! Honestly this makes me so happy, it feels so good to know some people actually enjoy reading my little blog, and that all my hard work was worth it!

I’d like to thank Thomas for nominating me. I’m not surprised that he was nominated as his posts are quite clever and amusing, but also leave me with a lot to think about too. Also if you don’t know him, he’s a super lovely guy too – so all of this definitely makes him one of my favourite bloggers. Here is his blog, if you’d like to see his work for yourself; https://doubtingthomasblogs.wordpress.com/

The rules are….

Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to his/her blog.

• Answer your nominator’s questions
• Nominate up to 9 other bloggers and ask them new questions
• Notify your nominees by visiting and commenting on their blog
• List the rules and display the “Ideal Inspiration Blogger Award” logo

Before we get started on the questions, I would like to nominate a few of my current favourites! They are;

1. BeyoutifulInsideOut
2. jazminheavenblog
3. Johnny, Johnny’s Traventures
4. Hannah Amethyst
5. fashionanitastar, Ana Cardigos
6. Shannon’s Corner

Now, let’s get onto the questions..

1 – You can pick 3 celebrities (dead or alive) to join you for dinner….who and why?

Firstly, i’d choose Melanie Murphy. She has impacted my life in so many wonderful, positive ways regarding mental health, living a healthy lifestyle and accepting my sexuality; with her wholesome and honest content. Therefore I think it would be amazing to discuss my feelings with her. Next, I would choose Micheal Jackson. I don’t know if anyone has seen it, but on twitter some people have brought up his song ” They don’t really care about us.” in correlation to police brutality. Seeing as Micheal used to be black, i’d love to know his thoughts on racism, the blm movement, and how things went for him and his mindset during his life, as he was both black and white. That discussion would just feel really fitting and enlightening in this current moment in time. Finally I would choose Antoni Porowski from Queer Eye. His cooking looks amazing, he inspires me to try new things and also seems lovely. Plus lets face it, who wouldn’t want him to help us in the kitchen?

2. What is your idea of a perfect first date?

Honestly I like dates to be quite casual and relaxed. I’ve had a few different first dates, however my favourites tend to be either Costa dates, or a couple of drinks at the local bar. They just seem super chilled and theyre also easier to leave if they turn out bad.

3. What would you do if successful in winning £1,000,000 on the National Lottery?

Firstly, i’d finish paying my parents mortgage so they didn’t have that worry anymore, i’d buy myself a nice car and house, i’d give some to my friend to help start up a photography business, go on a few hollidays, and give some to charity.

4. What was your favourite subject at school?

English, I loved reading and found it quite easy. That was easily my best subject, ( I got a B grade overall) I loved analysing all the different poetry and stories, as well as creating my own work for creative writing tasks.

5.  Is there one song that is GUARANTEED to get you on the dance floor at a party?

Ooooh I love a good dance at a party, so it’s hard to choose. I think its safe to say anything by ABBA, or Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars.

Now, here are my questions for you!

1. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
2. What piece of advice would you give your younger self?
3. What would you like to have achieved within the next 5 years?
4. What’s your favourite snack?
5. How do you like to cheer yourself up after a bad day?

That’s all guys, I hope you enjoyed this post! Also, thank you again for all your love and support, I can’t ever thank you enough.

Take care,

~ Emma x

Bisexuality and Coming Out.

Hi guys. So this month is Pride Month. I myself am Bi, so I though i’d try something different and interview the lovely Emma ( @InvincibleWomanOnWheels) and Shannon ( @Shannons_corner) to talk about their different stories in regards to coming out and life as a bisexual. I really enjoyed working with them both, and I hope you can both enjoy and gain something from this post. Lets get started.

1. What age did you first come out, and how?

Emma says: I was probably around 18 or 19 when I first came out to that first person and said I was bisexual; I know it was early in my university life. The actual situation came about when I was talking to a couple of university friends and we were discussing relationships and sexuality. They discussed where they saw themselves on the sexuality spectrum and  then  asked me how I identified and I just said I was bi.  I’m aware I’m lucky that my initial coming out story was so relaxed like that. I’d always had some kind of idea that I was attracted to men and women, but it hadn’t been something anyone had asked about that point or that seemed relevant at all (since I hadn’t dated anyone) so I’d never identified as bisexual before then.

Shannon says: I think I’ve been coming out since I was about 18/19. I never just came out to a lot of people at once, I just put it into conversations when talking about dating or thinking people were attractive. I found it easier with people my age such as friends and my sister because we’d naturally talk about potential partners and similar topics so it would come up quite naturally but not with older people such as my grandparents, that was harder.

2. How have people in your real life (or online) reacted to your coming out?

Emma says: In terms of reaction, which has mostly been from in person interactions like friends and family, there’s not really BEEN much reaction. I think this is again because they don’t really see my sexuality as relevant for their life. It only seems relevant when it comes to my relationships and dating, and since I’ve been single for the majority of the time I’ve been out as bisexual, it’s not really been something that’s relevant. What I have noticed is a slight shock or confusion sometimes when I mention that an actress or some girl I’ve seen is attractive and I think that’s because they just forget that I am actually bisexual. The other comment I get is a response that I’ve  “not decided” when it comes to my sexuality and, regardless of the fact that sexuality isn’t a decision, bisexuality IS my sexuality and not just some stepping stone to being a lesbian or some exploration from being heterosexual. So, if there was a ‘decision’ to be  made, I’ve already made it. I’m bisexual and that’s that.

Shannon says: I think I’ve been really lucky in this regard because it has been mostly positive. I don’t have any personal online presence but in person most people have been fine about it. I think because it just came out in conversation it was easier to just carry on the conversation rather than expect someone to react specifically to me coming out to them. It was nice for me because it made it more normal but I think on the flip side it allows people to just pretend you never said it which I think is something some people did, especially older family members. 

3. Sometimes people unfortunately struggle to see past misconceptions of bisexuals. In some cases, were called greedy, or if we date someone were asked “oh, so you’re straight/gay now??” . How would you respond to this?

Emma says: On the misconception of greediness, I’d say that’s fundamentally misunderstanding bisexuality. Identifying as bisexual means I am attracted to men and women and would be in a relationship with men or women. It does not mean I suddenly want to date the entirety of humanity all at once and steal them from everyone else! In terms of the gender of the person I’m dating meaning I’m now either straight or a lesbian, I’d say no, that’s not how it works. I’m still bisexual, it’s the same as what I said about the above comment of bisexual meaning I have “not decided” about my sexuality. Bisexual is my sexuality, it’s not some fence I sit on and then jump off based on the gender of my current partner.

Shannon says: Oh, I hate this. It’s just pure ignorance and I cannot stand it. I just tend to be very straight forward and say it like it is. ‘No, I’m still bi, I just happen to be dating a male/female at the minute.’ For the others I tend to be a bit blunter and just say ‘no, I’m not’ which probably isn’t the greatest argument but I’d rather not engage in a conversation with them. I’m happy with my sexuality so I don’t feel the need to correct others if they are being ignorant

4. Is there any advice you would give to people who have come out, but are in a bad/dangerous situation because of this?

Emma Says: This sound like a bit of a cliché phrase, but I’d say find your safe space. Whether that’s places you can stay or people you can stay with (if the situation is to the point where the safest thing for you to do is leave where you’re currently living). Or at least find people you can trust and confide in about the situation so that you don’t have to carry the weight of living in such a situation alone.  This might be talking to members of the LGBT society if you’re at university, and a university that has an LGBT society, or it could mean talking to anyone at all as long as you feel comfortable confiding in them about the situation. 

Shannon says: Keep yourself safe. Of course, it’s important to be who you are but if you can’t get away from a dangerous situation then just keep yourself safe. Obviously, try to remove yourself from the situation but I know that is easier said than done so until you can get away from the situation and make plans to do that safely then just do what you need to do. 

5. Some people may still be in the closet, too scared to come out. What advice would you give, in regard to this?

Emma says: I would say remember that coming out doesn’t have to mean telling the entire world. Start by just telling one person that you know, trust and feel comfortable confiding in, and be sure if you can that you know their views on LGBT people so you know that you’ll get a supportive response. It might be a good idea to come out to a fellow member of the LGBT community first as they’ll understand the emotional struggle behind coming out better than most, but of course who you come out to is up to you.

Shannon says:I think similar to the last question, if you’re scared because you know it’ll put you in danger, try to get yourself into a safer space before you do. If you’re scared because you’re just not sure how people will react just try to listen to what they say about other things. Are they generally a tolerable person? Are they normally reasonable even if they don’t agree with what is being said? That kind of thing can give you a good idea of what their reaction will be. Or you can do what I did which was just come out in conversation, because then if you’re scared about attention or their reaction it’s easier just to carry on the conversation instead of sitting in an awkward silence after an announcement. 

6.  Although this is a challenging time for some, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Name 1 positive thing that has come from coming out. 

Emma says: I feel like I understand myself and my place in the LGBT community better. I’d always felt a little awkward attending LGBT pride events where I was known as an ally and not an LGBT individual myself. I always wondered if they were my events to attend as a straight ally. But it turns out I was just bisexual the entire time, so I guess that answers that question.

Shannon says: I feel less anxious, like I’m not carrying around this big weight. I used to get so anxious when people would talk about people they fancied or potential partners and now that people know I feel so much more relaxed and myself around them. It’s been very freeing.

That’s all guys, I hope you enjoyed this post! Please be sure to check out Shannon and Emma’s blogs! Their links are: https://shannonscorners.wordpress.com/ https://invinciblewomanonwheels.wordpress.com/

Now i’d like to know, what are you guys thinking about this pride?

Take care,

Emma x

Black Lives Matter.

On the 25th of May 2020, George Floyd was killed by a police officer. He was accused of using a fake $20 bill. George did not resist, he was not a danger. He even offered to give back what he had brought with the $20. Yet he was still forced into the ground and the police officer knelt on his neck for 8 minutes and 36 seconds. George cried for his mumma, asked for water, and repeatedly said “I can’t breathe.” The officer involved was arrested, but had 18 other previous complaints about him. He was most likely only arrested as it was filmed, and people were protesting for justice.

Breonna Taylor, died on the 13th of March 2020. She was on the front lines helping to fight COVID 19. She’d finished work and gone to bed, when police officers stormed into her home and shot Breonna 8 times. They were looking for the wrong person. In fact, the person police were supposed to find was already in police custody. Breonna did nothing wrong, and justice has yet to be served.

This leads me onto today. Protests are happening all over the world, in responce to George Floyd’s death. 99% of them are peaceful, the media only chooses to show the violent riots instead. This also leads to my issue, and why i’m writing this post.

My issue, is with how some people are responding to the protests, peaceful or not. I have seen posts saying “All lives matter” (days after posting a black square to show support.. that was soon forgotten.) My issue is with people kicking off, saying we shouldnt be protesting, were selfish, it’s all our faults if the second wave comes. My issue is with people in my own family, saying “these protests should be banned”. This is coming from a man who is uncle to a 5 year old poc.

Firstly, let’s address the “all lives matters” part. If youre white, do you live in fear of being hurt because of your skin colour? Do you get picked on because of your hair being “too big”? Do you have to suffer in silence as a child, because someones called you a monkey and youre too young to even know how to stand up for yourself against that? No. No you don’t. Youre not the ones being treated badly every day because of your race. I saw something on facebook the other day, it was saying what if a house was on fire? Of course all houses matter, but the firemen are only going to help the burning house – because thats the house that NEEDS the help. At the end of the day, no lives matter until black lives matter – we are not the burning house. Lets focus our attention in a positive way.

Next, the whole ” Youre selfish, the second peak is coming and its all your fault.” Firstly, has anyone actually watched the news lately? Has no one seen people flocking to the beaches, and the VE Day Celebrations where people danced in the street? Has no one watched how peoples attitudes changed, after Dominic Cummings broke lockdown rules? I hate to break it to you, but its already been coming long before the riots even started.

Also, in like 10 -20 years covid will be gone, failing that then a lot more manageable than it is now. Racism will never go away. Its been here for 400 years, and nobody listens. Nobody listens, black peoples rights are violated daily. Protests are the only way to be heard sometimes. Sometimes we DEMAND to be heard because people wont listen otherwise. Racism is a far bigger disease, and we cant wait until tommorow, or next week. We cant wait for more black people to die before we speak up. We need to do it now. Absolutely educate those going on a jolly to beaches, but do not start on those who are fighting for basic human rights – which should have been done years ago.

Finally, the worst in my opinion, the statement “these protests should be banned.” That is silencing an already suffering minority. That is wrong. Sometimes I think about it from my nephew’s perspective. Although hes not fully black, he’s still a POC. He will grow up in 10-15 years time and say “hey, what did you do to help when all of this happened?.” The answer I will give, and the others I want him to hear are ” I protested, I donated, I signed petitions, I spoke up.” To know certain individuals will turn around and say “not a lot, they shouldnt have protested because….” that disgusts me.

I am not doing this because I like to be difficult, or like confrontation. I’m the polar opposite infact. I just want my nephew, my best friend, and all other black people to feel safe, accepted and valued. If something bad happens, I want them to feel like they can go to the police – without fearing for their lives in the process. I want them to be able to walk the streets, without having vile, racist words thrown at them. I want them to live in a world where they recieve the same chances as everybody else. I want them to be happy.

It’s up to us, their white allies, to help make this change. They cannot fight this fight alone. Together, we can make the world a better place. Speak up for whats right, stay driven, and never forget.

Black is beautiful, Black is strong, Black is love. Black lives matter.